You are tenacious, yet a masochist.
You have suffered a lot but still want to continue your life.
No matter what bounds you, your friends and family are likely to be sad because of you.
You may be responsible to them, maybe you are a parent, a teacher, etc.
Sorry to say but people are quite selfish.
They tell you to live; they want to satisfy the basic values, to feel saving you is great, and selfishly want to have you with them because your existence makes them feel well or directly benefits them.
I don't mean to say they have malice. Avoiding unpleasant things, like death and injury, is human nature for survival.
People want you to live as they can't feel your pressure; they don't share the same brain as you do.